Tuga, como descobrir.

YOU KNOW YOUR PORTUGUESE WHEN....

- Your mother or grandmother has Maria in her name. (1 Point - 2 Points if your name is Maria)
- You have a rooster napkin holder.
- Your father or grandfather is called Manuel.
- You have a Tia Maria or a Tio Jose .. or both. (1 Point for Each – 3 Points for Both)
- You know what SUMOL is...
- You have two kitchens, one is in the garage to fry fish..
- Gossiping about other Portuguese and there family is the conversation between any Portuguese person..
- You fry fish on a daily basis.
- You have two living rooms.. and one is FORBIDDEN to be in.
- You know who Marco Paulo, Jorge Ferreira, Chico Avila and Tony Carreira is...
- You decorate your walls with plates.
- Your house is a mini church with just as may statues of saints and Jesus as your church itself.
- You're 25 and still living with your parents. (1 Point - Extra points if you're married and living with your spouse in your parent's house)
- You baptize your child and send him to catechism even though you might never go to church except for weddings and funerals.
- You have a mother or grandmother who wears black.
- You HAVE to go to church at midnight on Christmas.. AND on easter..even though you never go any other time.
- If you are a woman, you have been to see a "curandeiro" (healer) or have had your fortune told. (1 Point – 2 Points if you ever been to cure ‘mau-olhado’)
- You get a letter from your doctor saying you can't work because of an "unspecified, ongoing medical condition" and then go on a two-week holiday.
- You think Brazilians speak incorrect Portuguese and will not read a book written in Brazilian Portuguese.. but will quite happily watch their soaps..
- Your parents own like 9 houses in Portugal but complain about the lack of money abroad.
- Going to Portugal involves buying gifts for all 500 members of your family.
- You go crazy for the World Cup.. and Flaunt your Portuguese pride as much as you possibly can.
- You refer to Portugal as "O Continente"
- You have grape vines or "favas" in your backyard.
- Your grandfather makes his own wine...
- Killing and cooking a huge pig infront of a crowd is apart of your tradition. (1 Point – 2 Points if your parents make you get involved)
- You eat Lapas (Limpits).. (1 Point - extra point if you go out with your family and get them yourself..)
- You earned a LOT of money for your first communion.
- To hell with the Turkey and Roast Beef! X-mas dinner was bacalhau a braz, baby! (cod meal)
- You know what "tramoços" is and you love it..
- You eat everything with wine
- A barbeque does not just consist of burgers on the grill... Hello Can you say sardinhas and espetada?
- Church is always "dress to impress" otherwise you'll get talked shit on or stared down.
- A wooden spoon or a belt equals discipline (1 Point – Extra Point if you have ever had to duck so you wouldn't get hit with flying shoes)
- Your parents anticipate that you'll marry your first long-term boyfriend/girlfriend.
- When you hear the word "Sagres" you think Beer, not historical marine school.
- You ask you mom "whats for breakfast?" and she replies with.. "Um papo-seco com quejo e mantega" (bread with butter and Cheese).
- Your 15 year old brother is allowed to have two girls sleep over, but your 19 year old sister can't go out past 7pm or have a BOYFRIEND TILL SHES 34 -
- Your grandmother tells you look sick because you are too thin.
- Portuguese people.. are the nosiest people you know..
- Your parents make you eat 3 servings of dinner at each sitting otherwise they think you don't like the cooking.
- Your house has every window covered with cortinas. (curtains)
- You can hold 2 beers in each hand.. and still manage to hold a cup of Aniz! (A liqueur)
- Even if you are considered "Obese" in the medical field.. Your Family still insists that you need some meat on your bones!
- Your friends come over and ask.. "why does your parents always yell at you?" and you reply with.. "No, they're not yelling... thats just the way we talk.."
- You know and love drinking Maciera, Angelica and Aguardente. (a type of strong alcohol)
- You eat everything.. and once again.. i DO mean EVERYTHING.. with bread.
- Your parents continuously tell you to not go outside after taking a shower because you will get sick.
- Your parents told you at one point of your childhood life that if you don't behave "O Bixo vai-te comer!" (the bug is going to eat you)
- You've been called a Portugee, Pork-n-cheese, Green Horn or Spud Picker..
- Finally.. What about the vassoura people....tell me you've never been threatened with the o Cabo da Vassoura ( broom handle!)

Agora falta a "paxorra" de traduzir.
Toda esta defenição é quase maioritariamente aplicável as Lusos emigrados.